Dr. Dolittle - *

Dr. Dolittle

Given the success of Babe, it’s easy to see why Hollywood would be eager to remake Dr. Dolittle. But, though they remembered the talking animals, someone forgot to give this movie a sense of humor.

Even as a young boy, John Dolittle had a gift…he could talk to the animals. But after learning some inappropriate social customs from the family dog (voiced by Ellen DeGeneres), he is forced to repress his ability. In fact he goes so far that he forgets his gift completely. All is well until, twenty five years or so later, he receives a convenient conk on the head.

As a grownup, John (Eddie Murphy) has become a successful doctor, and has a wife (Kristen Wilson), and two daughters. His partners (Oliver Platt and Richard Schiff) and on the verge of selling their practice to an HMO. Just when Dr. Dolittle needs a level head, all the animals around begin speaking to him.

The animal voices are mostly familiar, and it’s actually more entertaining trying to spot all the celebrity voices than it is listening to what they have to say. The most vociferous duo are Chris Rock as the family pet guinea pig, and Norm MacDonald as a stray dog. But John Leguizamo, Albert Brooks, Gary Shandling, Julie Kavner, Gilbert Gottfried and others lend their pipes as well.

There are a few, a very few, funny moments with the speaking animals. If you’ve seen the commercials for this one, you’ve seen them all. A neurosis here, a raunchy reference there…after a while the repetitive humor gets as stale as a box of three month old animal crackers.

When you’re left with the human story in this film, you know you’re in trouble. Your average TV sitcom has more depth than the characters here (and at least twice the humor). As an audience, you couldn’t care less about the whole HMO plot, which is the strongest element the human story has in it.

As Dr. Dolittle, Eddie Murphy is stuck playing the straight man, sidekick to the animals strutting their stuff. However, in his previous straight man role (that of Sherman Klump in The Nutty Professor), at least he was a likable and interesting character in his own right. Here, he’s merely bland.

For a movie about animals, you’d expect a few animal tricks here and there. That’s not the case in Dr. Dolittle. They simply wander about, with animated lips thrown in later. The special effects are never groundbreaking, but aren’t too bad (except when they resort to that guinea pig hand puppet).

If this is all animals have to say, we’re not missing anything. And by skipping Dr. Dolittle, neither will you.

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The X-Files: Fight the Future - * *

The X-Files

The X-Files joins the ranks of television shows moving to the big screen, but (in a rare occurence) it is doing so in the midst of its popular television run. Though this might serve to boost its audience, it only has a detrimental effect on the film, which ranks as an adequate episode of the series…nothing really worth the trouble of a feature adaptation.

For those of you unfamiliar with the series, The X-Files are a division of the F.B.I. which investigates unusual cases (particularly those that are of a paranormal nature). The two agents who have been assigned to the X-Files are Fox Mulder (David Duchovny), the smart-alecky true believer, and Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson), the level-headed skeptic. The pair had begun to uncover a government conspiracy involving aliens. However, they came too close, and their office was burned and the X-Files were shut down.

At the opening of the X-Files movie, Mulder and Scully have been reassigned to an anti-terrorist detail. But that pesky alien conspiracy just won’t leave them alone. Even when assigned to a routine detail, such as evacuating a Dallas federal building after a bomb threat, can turn mysterious when these two are involved. And sooner than you can say “extraterrestrial biological entity”, they’re hip deep in the paranormal again.

Most of the standard X-Files supporting players are here. On the good guy’s side, there’s Mulder and Scully’s semi-supportive boss, Director Skinner (Mitch Pileggi), and Mulder’s three conspiracy obsessed pals, The Lone Gunmen (Tom Braidwood, Bruce Harwood, and Dean Haglund). In the Syndicate, the evil secret government organization behind the conspiracy, there’s Well-Manicured Man (John Neville) and the ol’ favorite Cigarette-Smoking Man (William B. Davis). And of course, no X-Files cast would be complete without a mysterious informant. This time around, Martin Landau plays Kurtzweil, a man who passes some critical information Mulder’s way.

The strengths of The X-Files movie are the same as the series. Duchovny and Anderson are very engaging leads, displaying the same great chemistry here as they do on the tv show. Plus, the picture has a wonderfully paranoid atmosphere, which so enthralls the audience that they’ll willingly follow along even the most ludicrous plot.

However, the film is also hamstrung by the series. Since the series will continue next season, there can be no ultimate conclusion to the film. Everything must continue status quo for the series to resume. As a result, the movie feels more like a two-part episode of the series rather than a big screen spectacle.

From a purely narrative point of view, The X-Files movie falls apart. The entire plot is driven by an unlikely set of coincidences. Both sides, the good guys and the bad guys, cast their fates into the wind and let pure luck decide their outcomes. The underlying conspiracy is hopelessly convoluted, with even more loose ends than plot twists. Even in comparison to the overall series plot, the movie fails (actually altering a major component of the series “mythology” to conform with more cinematic tastes).

For novices to the X-Files, the movie would be very confusing to follow. The movie assumes a base familiarity with the key characters, and even with some of the details of the overall conspiracy (which are summarized, but too briefly for newcomers). Devoted fans of the series will find that they are being treated with utter contempt. Not only does the movie fail to answer any relevant questions, but the movie’s bungled mishandling of the Mulder-Scully romantic angle is sure to displease both ‘shippers and anti-‘shippers alike.

The X-Files movie might have worked well as a television episode. As a movie, it generates a good atmosphere and has a pair of good performances from the leads…and that’s about it.

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Mulan - * * * 1/2*

Mulan

Disney cements their place in the forefront of feature animation with the release of their latest animated adventure, Mulan. While it adheres a bit too close to the Disney formula to be perfect, it is nonetheless an entertaining film for both kids and adults.

Fa Mulan (Ming-Na Wen, singing: Lea Salonga) wants nothing more than to be a dutiful daughter and honor her family…it’s just that she doesn’t quite fit in with the chafing customs of her time. While most girls her age are trying to quietly and demurely seek the approval of the local matchmaker (Miriam Margoyles), Mulan would prefer speaking her mind.

But there is trouble on the horizon. The evil Huns, led by Shan-Yu (Miguel Ferrer), are invading China. The Emperor (Pat Morita) has decreed that each family must donate one man to serve in the army. The only male in Mulan’s family is her father, Fa Zhou (Soon-Tek Oh), who, old and with a bad leg, honorably accepts his fate. Mulan, on the other hand, decides to save her father’s life…by secretly masquerading as a man and taking his place on the battlefield.

Mulan, under the assumed name of Ping, appears at camp where she, along with the other bumbling recruits, Yao (Harvey Fierstein), Chien-Po (Jerry Tondo) and Ling (Gedde Watanabe), are trained in the art of war by Captain Shang (B.D. Wong, singing: Donny Osmond). But she’s not alone in her tasks…in typical Disney fashion, she has three animal companions: her horse Khan, a lucky cricket Crickey, and a pint-sized “guardian” dragon called Mushu (Eddie Murphy).

Much like the gargoyles in The Hunchback of Notre Dame, the humor in Mulan is lukewarm and doesn’t flow well with the rest of the more serious story. Sure, some occasional comic relief is welcome, particularly in a film geared for the younger set, but Mulan overdoes it. The overdose of humor turns what could have been a powerfully great film into a good, but schizophrenic experience.

But, that commentary aside, this is a very well made film (which makes the formulaic additions all the more regrettable). The animation is on par with some of Disney’s best. The story itself is interesting, and the action scenes are awe-inspiring.

The musical score to the film is enjoyable, though, as has been the case with Disney’s recent work, the songs are mostly forgettable. At least, we’re only subjected to four of them this time around.

Mulan boasts the highest death toll of any Disney cartoon to date. Most of the killing is off-screen and it’s all highly depersonalized (there’s nothing to compare with the death of Mufasa or Bambi’s mom). There’s nothing graphic, and the film resides snugly inside a G rating. Children will probably have more questions about the restrictive ancient customs than of the slaughter of armies.

It’s ironic that a film concerned with bucking tradition is hampered because of its strict adherence to Disney tradition. If the filmmakers had the guts to lessen the humor, ax the compulsory songs, and remove the obligatory (and somewhat unrealistic) romance, they could have had a classic on their hands. Instead, they merely deliver a very good time at the movies.

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Cousin Bette - * *

With the preponderance of period pieces at the movies during recent years, it doesn’t seem too farfetched that someone would adapt Balzac’s novel Cousin Bette. However, this farcical tale of revenge falters right out of the starting gate and never recovers.

Jessica Lange stars as Cousin Bette. As a child, her cousin Adeline (Geraldine Chaplin) was favored and pampered by her family. Adeline even stole Bette’s true love, Baron Hector Hulot (Hugh Laurie). But Bette just swallowed her pride and let it fester inside her.

The movie opens with Adeline on her deathbed. Bette promises to look after Adeline’s children (but not the way Adeline intends). However, once she is unintentionally scorned once again by Hector, she begins to plot the Hulot downfall.

She enlists the help of a young sculptor, Wenceslas (Aden Young), and a burlesque star, Jenny Cadine (Elisabeth Shue) to further her plans. But her evil is all consuming, and even her allies are in danger of becoming victims of her schemes.

Intended as a farce, Cousin Bette never quite works. Though quite frequently ridiculous, the film doesn’t commit itself wholeheartedly to the concept.

Lange is easily the best thing in the movie, though her character is rather slow to develop. In the opening scenes, we get the sense that she is already plotting her evil revenge, but then she has a sudden relapse into niceness. It’s not until much later that her true character has a chance to come out. Whether it is a conscious ploy for audience sympathy or not, it gives an inconsistent tone to her character.

Elisabeth Shue peppers the film with several truly horrid musical numbers. They’re intentionally bad, and here’s one area where the filmmakers succeed grandly. They’re so bad that they are actually painful to watch.

If not for Lange’s performance, the film would be a complete loss…and it almost is anyhow. Those seeking seduction and betrayal in period dress should probably rewatch Dangerous Liasons, and ignore Cousin Bette.

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Dirty Work - 1/2*

Dirty Work

Like so many other former Saturday Night Live-ers before him, Norm Macdonald attempts to make the jump to feature films…and falls flat on his face. Dirty Work is an embarrassingly bland comic failure.

Macdonald stars as Mitch Weaver, a pathetic loser who can’t hold a steady job or even a girlfriend. He has only one good friend, Sam (Artie Lange), whose father (Jack Warden) is in desperate need of a $50,000 heart transplant… money that neither Sam nor Mitch have.

All looks bleak until Mitch discovers a way to make money from his one true talent: creating elaborate revenge schemes. He and Sam start up Dirty Work, a revenge-for-hire business. They help people to get even…from little old ladies to billionaire Travis Cole (Christopher McDonald). But will they be able to make enough money in time? And will anyone stay in the theater long enough to find out?

The film boasts a wide variety of cameos. Chevy Chase, Don Rickles, Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, John Goodman, and even Gary Coleman all appear at one time or another. But aside from simple shock value, they have very little to add.

Norm Macdonald doesn’t have much of a repertoire here. His one smug tone might make him a good straight man…but it doesn’t work well when he’s supposed to be the comic center of the film. The film simply hops from one oddly bland revenge gag to another with little humor in between.

There are slight glimmers here and there of moments of humor trying to break free in the film’s darker moments. When Dirty Work unknowingly pulls a revenge prank on a bunch of murderous drug lords, for example, the movie skates eerily close to humor. Alas, what could have been a quirky dark comedy quickly collapses back into the dull, stale routine.

There may be a good film lurking in the heart of Norm Macdonald…but Dirty Work shows that it’s buried deep.

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Can’t Hardly Wait - *

Remember the glut of mid-80s teen angst films? Well, apparently every generation needs its own, and Can’t Hardly Wait has picked up the gauntlet. Unfortunately, beyond broad stereotypes and patently obvious social observations, Can’t Hardly Wait has very little to offer.

It’s the night after graduation, and the entire senior class of Huntington High has gathered together for one final party. Although all the usual archetypes are present, the film focuses primarily on six teens: the most popular guy and girl in school, Mike Dexter (Peter Facinelli) and Amanda Beckett (Jennifer Love Hewitt), who have recently broken up. Ordinary Preston Meyers (Ethan Embry), who spends his time pining for the beautiful Amanda. Uber-nerd William Lichter (Charlie Korsmo), who spends his time pining for revenge against bully Mike. Antisocial Denise Fleming (Lauren Ambrose), dragged to the party by her friend Preston. And then there’s Kenny Fisher (Seth Green), a white kid who wants to be black, and who’s come to the party to score.

The film’s setup is tedious at best, and much too lengthy. I mean, the characters are all merely caricatures, and the prolonged introduction only serves to point out their shallowness.

The closest the film comes to an interesting character is Preston Meyers, whose appeal is due more to the talents of Ethan Embry than strong writing. As a character, he is completely defined by his attraction to Amanda. But Embry’s engaging mannerisms make the character more endearing than he was written.

As the object of his affection, Jennifer Love Hewitt takes a flat role and leaves it lifeless. Korsmo and Facinelli play their stereotypes to the hilt, but without any interesting touches. Lauren Ambrose wanders through the film looking for a personality, and Seth Green, looking like Bulworth Jr., is never quite as funny as he tries to be. He’s actually better in his quieter moments. The few sparks from the supporting cast are actually delivered in cameos (by Jenna Elfman and Jerry O’Connell).

The humor in the film is scarce, though it does get slightly better as the film rolls along. The script (by directors Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont) offers few surprises (beyond the fact that they can still build an entire film out of these hoary old clichés).

Teens might get a kick out of the film’s obvious humor, but this entry is far from being a credit to the genre. Recently, Clueless and even the Scream series have had more insight into teen culture. Don’t believe the title…you can wait for this one…a long, long time.

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Six Days, Seven Nights - * * 1/2*

Six Days, Seven Nights

It’s a traditional setup: put a man and a woman who seemingly hate each other into isolation together and love will bloom. That’s the tried-and-true setup of the new romantic adventure film Six Days, Seven Nights, which gets the setup right… but doesn’t know what to do from there.

Robin Monroe (Anne Heche) is the busy New York editor at an upscale fashion magazine. She has little time for romance, but when her boyfriend Frank (David Schwimmer) invites her to a six-day, seven night stay at a South Pacific resort, she accepts…just as she does to his proposal for marriage.

When an emergency photo shoot in Tahiti beckons, Robin finds herself hiring the services of Quinn Harris (Harrison Ford), the only pilot on the island. However, a tropical storm forces their plane to crash, and Robin and Quinn find themselves stranded on a remote island with little hope of rescue.

Of course, the island is full of adventure. From wild animals to dangerous terrain to modern-day pirates, Robin and Quinn face danger at every turn. Will these dangers make them turn to one another?

Harrison Ford and Anne Heche actually make a convincing romantic couple. The actors do a good enough job to allow you to get lost in the characterization, and forget about the actors’ personal lives. Neither character is written very deep, but both Ford and Heche play their roles with the appropriate combination of charm and likability.

On the supporting side, David Schwimmer is his traditional whiner…a role which is easier to take in these small doses. There to comfort him is Angelica (Jacqueline Obradors), island entertainer and Quinn’s sometimes girlfriend. She doesn’t have much to do beyond the bimbo role, which she fills nicely.

It seems as if director Ivan Reitman is shooting for a Romancing The Stone, or The African Queen sort of feel for the film. But, though the leads are appealing, he doesn’t have the story to back it up.

Aside from the romance, there’s actually very little for the characters to do. The film tries to address that by throwing nearly every shipwrecked-on-a-deserted-isle trick in the book at them (come on, pirates?), but every obstacle seems overly artificial.

In the end, Six Days, Seven Nights is enjoyable…though more for its romantic comedy elements than its sense of adventure.

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The Truman Show - * * * 1/2*

The Truman Show

Not your typical Jim Carrey fare, The Truman Show is a daring comedy-drama which turns a scathing eye upon the media culture. Fans expecting Carrey’s usual shtick will be disappointed here…but few else will be, for this intelligent and invigorating film is a fascinating look at the struggle between individual spirit and the media culture.

Truman Burbank (Jim Carrey) is the star of the world’s most popular television show, only he doesn’t know it. As a baby, he was adopted by a corporation, and ever since, every moment of his life has been secretly broadcast to billions.

His entire life, the entire world around him, is artificial. The entire town of Seahaven, where Truman lives, is in reality one huge set. The sun, the moon, and even the weather are artificially controlled. Every person he ever met has been an actor playing a carefully scripted role. From his best friend (Noah Emmerich) to his wife (Laura Linney), everyone is in on the secret but Truman himself.

But this carefully constructed world is starting to unravel for Truman. Whenever he does something unexpected, such as falling in love with an extra (Natascha McElhone), the show’s godlike director Christof (Ed Harris) has to scramble to keep reality consistent for his star. But little cracks are beginning to show, and the wanderlust-driven Truman begins to doubt his own reality.

The film is nearly as much about its audience as it is about its title character. Even the opening credits are staged as if we were watching The Truman Show itself (i.e. Starring Truman Burbank as Truman Burbank), with the actual movie credits saved until the end. Only occasionally does the film venture outside the television perspective to show us either the backstage workings behind the show, or the reactions of the show’s devoted audience. But in reality, we are the audience who are captivated by the struggles of a seemingly normal man in a seemingly normal life. Truman Burbank is the ultimate celebrity… prepackaged for our viewing enjoyment, but also a human being fighting the eternal struggle for freedom. Entertainment at its best (and worst).

Jim Carrey tackles the best role of his career, and (how’s this for a shocker) he’s not playing Jim Carrey, unlike the rest of his virtually interchangeable frenzied roles. No, this is a subtle, nuanced Jim Carrey…and, what do you know…he actually can act! There were still one too many “Jim Carrey” moments in the film… bones thrown to the masses of Jim Carrey fans who, the studio apparently fears, might rebel if not treated to a glimpse of standard Carrey fare.

The rest of the cast has the unique challenge of playing the part of actors playing a part. Emmerich does a good job as the best pal who’s somehow always nearby when Truman needs a friend, but Laura Linney stiffly overacts her part as Truman’s wife. It’s hard to believe Truman doesn’t see through her from the start. One opportunity lost in the film is to fill in any back story on the other actors. While it’s not crucial to the film (which is the Truman show after all), it would have been interesting to see (or simply to hear the actors say in an interview, for example) the effect of living a 24-hour lie on their own lives.

Ed Harris does a delightful job as the show’s creator/producer. Half deity, half mad scientist, he can’t quite comprehend why Truman would even want something besides his artificial ideal existence. It may be a zoo cage…but it’s a really, really nice one.

A couple of times the question comes up, why hasn’t Truman detected the ruse long before? I believe the answer lies in his upbringing. His entire life has been a lie, to the extent that he doesn’t know the truth when he sees it. If Truman has never seen a real sunrise, why would he be disappointed in a spectacularly recreated one?

The film does make a misstep (though one calculated to make Truman more accessible to the audience) by casting Truman as such a normal guy. He should have been used to being subtly pushed and prodded around, and should have been oblivious the minor inconsistencies that are obvious to the audience. But that’s a minor nit, and the film doesn’t lose much by portraying Truman as a much more normal man than he should have been.

Multi-faceted, The Truman Show delivers on several levels. Not only is it an enjoyable human drama, but also an intriguing look at the excesses of a celebrity oriented culture and a disturbing look at the future of entertainment.

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A Perfect Murder - * * *

A Perfect Murder

Andrew Davis directs this update of Frederick Knott’s suspense play, Dial M For Murder, previously made into a masterful Alfred Hitchcock thriller. This time around, the technology and sensibilities have been updated, but the key story remains exciting and suspenseful.

Michael Douglas plays Steven Hayes, a junk bond investor whose world is collapsing. His company is under investigation, his finances are shot, and he recently discovered his wife is having an affair.

Emily (Gwyneth Paltrow), his rich wife, has been frequenting the company of starving artist David Shaw (Viggo Mortensen). Steven develops a carefully constructed plan which could solve all his difficulties. He will hire a man to kill his wife, the he can use her trust fund money to fix his monetary problems.

Fans of the Hitchcock movie, and the original play, will probably already notice some differences. The setup of the movie is roughly the same, but, though a key piece of concluding evidence is the same, the last half of the film is different in all but tone.

Although it is not a stretch, Michael Douglas fits his role perfectly. Though it is nice to see him stretch now and then, and he can play the modern rich white male in his sleep, he does such a good job at it that he’s fun just to watch. His character here, as in Dial M for Murder, is a planner. We get to learn his meticulously crafted perfect murder plan, then watch as he rapidly adjusts when things begin to go awry. Michael plays his role in such a way that you hate and cheer for him at the same time.

Gwyneth Paltrow has a beefier part here than Grace Kelly did in Dial M for Murder, and she manages to do an admirable job with it. Though not without sin, she is the most sympathetic of the major three characters. And even if she does make a few big leaps of logic here and there in the film, she maintains credibility throughout.

As the third vertex of the triangle, Viggo Mortensen also has a bigger role than before. Of the three main cast members, he is the weakest, and his motives are never 100% clear. But, he does serve to add a little extra mystery to the plot.

And the plot here is strong (what a welcome change). The additions made to A Perfect Murder enhance the violence of Dial M for Murder, but maintain the same atmosphere.

The end result is about as good as you could hope for in a remake of a Hitchcock classic. It has some rough edges here and there which could have used the master’s touch, but, for the most part, A Perfect Murder is an exciting and truly suspenseful thriller.

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The Last Days of Disco - * * *

It was inevitable that films would take a look back at the disco era. Whit Stillman’s comedy-drama The Last Days of Disco is in the first nostalgic volley, with more to come later. However, filled with good characters, and sharp dialogue, The Last Days of Disco holds promise that these films may be more enduring than the era itself.

The film centers around a group of yuppies who have latched onto the tail end of the disco era (in the very early 1980s). Alice (Chloë Sevigny) and Charlotte (Kate Beckinsale) work in a publishing house and have recently become roommates. Alice is the shyer of the two, and has latched onto the brash Charlotte as an inappropriate role model.

The men in their lives aren’t terribly inspiring. Des (Chris Eigeman) is the womanizing club manager, who’s willing to overlook anything (from criminal activity to the duties of friendship). Jimmy (Mackenzie Astin) is a struggling junior ad exec, who’s used merely as a tool to get clients access to the exclusive clubs. And there’s Josh (Matthew Keeslar) the assistant D.A. who might be creepier than the rest of them combined.

The film brews an odd mixture of nostalgia and contempt for the era. The time is depicted as simple and free, and yet shallow and naive. The characters are brimming with self importance, as if they’re on the dawn of a new era, when actually they’re at its dusk.

Alice is easily the most sympathetic character of the film, but by no means the most interesting. That honor goes to Charlotte. Kate Beckinsale (with a flawless American accent) portrays her with an intoxicating mix of cruelty and seductiveness.

The dialogue is what makes The Last Days of Disco truly stand out from the crowd. With comments ranging from the apt to the vapid, Whit Stillman’s script crackles with wit.

The Last Days of Disco is a fascinating film to watch, whether you were a supporter of “the disco movement”, or one who cheered when it died.

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