The Haunting - 1/2*

Posted on July 23, 1999 by Madeleine Williams

The Haunting

Okay…it’s time for a quick tongue twister. The Haunting is based on Shirley Jackson’s novel, The Haunting of Hill House, and was originally titled The Haunting of Hill House, unlike the prior 1963 movie based on The Haunting of Hill House, simply titled The Haunting. Now, another haunted house film is due out this fall, entitled The House on Haunted Hill, which has nothing to do with The Haunting of Hill House, or The Haunting. However, potential confusion caused the makers of the new film, The Haunting of Hill House, to retitle their film to The Haunting, although it is not based upon the earlier film The Haunting, but instead, the novel, The Haunting of Hill House. Why do I mention all of this? Simply put, this alliterative allocution is much more interesting than the fright-free horror film which is The Haunting. The only ones who will be scared of this latest haunted house are the producers who footed the bill for this lavishly expensive disaster.

The film starts off with an awkward explanation by the ethically-challenged Dr. David Marrow (Liam Neeson). He is going to perform a psychological examination of fear, under the guise of an insomnia study. His plan is to gather three paid volunteers at a “haunted” house, wherein they will be isolated and examined. The film seemingly sets this up as an excuse for the supernatural happenings that occur in the real haunted house…but it doesn’t fool the audience for one second, nor the characters.

The first volunteer is Nell (Lili Taylor), a shy woman who has fruitlessly devoted her life to caring for her recently deceased mother. Devoid of house and home, she comes to Hill House seeking adventure (never mind that she signed up for an insomnia study). Next up is Theo (Catherine Zeta-Jones), an aggressively bisexual beauty who’s there purely to add some sex appeal to the proceedings, and little else. Rounding out the trio is Luke (Owen Wilson), a cocksure young man who is certain something unusual is afoot.

And then there’s Hill House itself, the most colorful and interesting character in the film. A dizzying carnival of rooms, sculptures and labyrinthine hallways. It seems that it was build one hundred years ago by a cruel miser named Hugh Crane. Now, not only his spirit, but the ghosts of hundreds of children who worked in his textile mills run rampant throughout the place, causing all sorts of mischief. The target of most of the haunting is none other than the wallflower Nell, who can’t understand why she’s being singled out…particularly when the specters turn malevolent.

The ghost of Hill House is afflicted with the James Bond villain syndrome, albeit in a less talky manner. When the ghost has the opportunity and means to get rid of the pesky humans… it delays, it stalls, it procrastinates. No reason is given whatsoever for the ghost’s postponing tactics. Granted, if everyone was killed in the first fifteen minutes, there wouldn’t be much of a movie, but a good screenplay would have at least offered up a token explanation.

The special effects of The Haunting are bloated and overdone. When subtlety is called for, the effects blunder into the scene with the delicacy of a 40-ton weight. On the other hand, the film’s sound effects work unusually well. But, whenever they are combined with a visual extravagance, the sights unfortunately outweigh the sounds.

The usually reliable cast is given a lemon of a script with which to work. Lili Taylor can’t retain much dignity when she’s forced to utter lines like, “I’m not a victim…I’m a volunteer!” The cast resigns to play second fiddle to the sets and effects throughout the movie.

Director Jan De Bont continues on the downward trajectory he began with the debacle, Speed 2: Cruise Control. With The Haunting, his pace is accelerating.

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Drop Dead Gorgeous - * * 1/2*

Posted on July 23, 1999 by Madeleine Williams

Drop Dead Gorgeous is a biting and, at times, cruel satire of beauty pageants and the small-town mentality. Written by former pageant contestant Lona Williams, this comedy has the ring of truth, but it tends to go a bit too far.

Drop Dead Gorgeous is filmed in a mock-documentary style, following the path of the Miss Teen Princess America beauty pageant from small town Mount Rose, Minnesota, all the way to the nationals. The local favorite in Mount Rose is Becky Leeman (Denise Richards), a young beauty whose mother, Gladys (Kirstie Alley), just happens to be chairwoman of the pageant, and a former winner herself.

But Becky has some stiff competition in the small town. Her chief rival seems to be the wholesome Amber Atkins (Kirsten Dunst). Amber lives in the local trailer park with her alcoholic mom (Ellen Barkin), and holds down several jobs, including cafeteria lady, and makeup artist at the morgue.

It soon becomes obvious that little is going to stand in Becky’s way in her quest to be crowned. Other contestants suffer mysterious fates when they dare cross her path. As the pageant draws near, Amber comes to the conclusion that she won’t survive long enough to win the crown.

At first, Drop Dead Gorgeous simply seems like a small town satire in the vein of Waiting for Guffman (with a heavy dose of Fargo-esque Minnesotan humor). However, things quickly turn darker when the first deaths start rolling around. The humor gets blacker and blacker, and flirts dangerously with the boundaries of meanness.

Kirsten Dunst is sympathetic and appealing as the underdog character whom audiences are urged to root for. Denise Richards plays the spoiled little rich girl perfectly, and Kirstie Alley gets to flash her sharp teeth as her obsessive mother. However, Ellen Barkin is wasted as Ambers’ shadow of a mother. Mindy Sterling steals the few brief scenes she’s in as one of Gladys Leeman’s cronies.

Unfortunately, the film loses its momentum once it progresses to the State and National rounds. So much effort was spent getting comfortable with the characters and contestants of Mount Rose, that the latter pageant scenes just can’t compare. Except for the Mount Rose winner, there’s no one of any interest in the latter part of the film.

The regional humor is laid on thick and heavy. Minnesotans (and Lutherans) are unlikely to be happy with their backwards portrayal in the film. But it is obvious from the outset, the film is not hoping to win any friends. Picking easy targets, such as the mentally and physically disabled, Drop Dead Gorgeous mercilessly flaunts its politically incorrect label.

When it’s funny, it’s wickedly funny. There are times the film borders on being just plain mean, though. Still, in the end, the funny bits win out.

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Lake Placid - * 1/2*

Posted on July 16, 1999 by Madeleine Williams

Lake Placid is a simple film to sum up: a giant crocodile in Maine. That’s about it. That one lone sentence fragment aptly summarizes the completely ridiculous premise of this comic thriller. It’s not much of a movie, and what little there is is completely implausible.

It seems that on Black Lake (no, not Lake Placid) in a remote section of Maine, a giant 30-foot crocodile has taken up residence. After the croc munches a diver, Sheriff Keough (Brendan Gleeson) calls in the experts. Enter Jack Wells (Bill Pullman), from Fish and Game, who’s never had a crocodile encounter until now.

Providing the crocodile experience is uninvited guest, the ultra rich Hector Cyr (Oliver Platt). There is nothing the eccentric Hector loves to do better than to swim with the crocodiles, whom he considers divine. Normally, an outsider such as Hector would be quickly dismissed. However, he has plenty of expensive tracking equipment that Wells and Keough utilize to hunt the mighty beast.

Rounding out the team of experts is Kelly Scott (Bridget Fonda), a New York paleontologist who is definitely not made for the woods. Sent on this boondoggle assignment by her ex-boyfriend boss, Kelly has little to do other than make barbed quips and get in jeopardy.

The structure of the Giant Beast movie hasn’t changed much since Jaws made its splash nearly twenty-five years ago. Beast attacks, oddball team assembles, oddball team bonds, oddball team does something foolish, beast attacks, and repeat. For a Giant Beast film, Lake Placid has a surprisingly light body count, though the victims that do get bitten by the big one exit in a most gory manner.

Lake Placid tries to step away from the formula with some swift scriptwriting. The script to this film is so heavy with sarcasm that it’s sticky to the touch. Everyone in this film seems to have a chip on their shoulder, and a sharp tongue to match. Unfortunately, most of their time the dialogue errs on the ridiculous side.

All of the characters are written to be sympathetic, but instead most come across as whiney. Brendan Gleeson’s sheriff emerges as the most likable. Gleeson’s weary presence elevates his role above the flimsy stereotype. It’s a close tie between Bridget Fonda and Oliver Platt as to who most deserves being chomped in two. Although Fonda’s character is annoying right off the bat, Platt makes up for it in spades when his character finally graces the screen.

The plot fails to make any unexpected moves. No satisfactory answer is ever given to several crucial questions. Why is the crocodile in Maine? Why hasn’t he ever been noticed before? Why is the film titled “Lake Placid”, anyway? Why should we even continue watching this movie?

The special effects are decent, though obviously computer generated. Still, it’s not everyday that you get to watch a giant reptile munch on local Maine wildlife. The final showdown is well set up, but a bit of a letdown when it unfolds.

Perhaps the best giant crocodile movie out there, Lake Placid simply collapses when held to a higher standard.

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Eyes Wide Shut - * * 1/2*

Posted on July 16, 1999 by Madeleine Williams

Eyes Wide Shut marks the end of an era. It is not only the career concluding film of the recently deceased director, Stanley Kubrick, but also the end of one of the longest film shoots in history. For two years, Kubrick worked nonstop, tying up megastars Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman with his infamously meticulous directing. Anticipation and rumors grew exponentially. Now, at last, the Eyes Wide Shut are opened, and this final chapter is somewhat of a letdown. The coda to Kubrick’s career has some delightfully Kubrickian moments, but not enough to fill this shallow shell of a movie.

Dr. William Hartford (Tom Cruise) and his wife Alice (Nicole Kidman) have been happily married for nine years now. However, the events at an extravagant Christmas party thrown by one of William’s ultrarich patients, Victor Ziegler (Sidney Pollack), launches them down an uncertain path of jealousy and sexual intrigue.

Emboldened by the amorous advances of a Hungarian gentleman, Alice confronts her husband about his own sexual wanderings. When his answers prove unsatisfactory, she reveals a sexual secret that both traumatizes and obsesses her husband over the course of the next two days.

Structured as a series of loosely connected sexual episodes, the film follows William on a journey throughout New York City. Consumed by his jealous obsession for his wife, and a sexual longing which he, up till now, has denied, he wanders the city attracted to erotic danger like a juicy bug heading for the zapper. But when he delves too deeply into the sexual underworld of the city, he discovers unspeakable things which may even cost him his life.

William’s every encounter over the next 48 hours is basked in a sexual light. It is as if, upon learning his wife has heretofore undisclosed sexual lusts, He is now awakened to the sexual awareness of everyone he meets. From patients to old friends, gangs of rowdy youths to drug abusing prostitutes, all react to him (either positively or negatively) in a sexual way. (But, hey, he’s Tom Cruise…I guess he’s used to that.)

Eyes Wide Shut attempts to lull you in with a hypnotic pace, but there are too many minor annoyances that dispel the trance. Most everything seems staged and phony, perhaps by intention, but even so, it pulls you out of the story. There is so much attention to detail that everything seems a bit too perfect. At times, Cruise almost seems alone in the city…the few people he meets are nearly always gorgeous and sexy. It is as if a magic wand were waved over the streets of the city, and only a handful of the most beautiful residents remain.

Yes, there is plenty of sex in this film. However, most of it is all a tease, and the teases are rarely tantalizing. The movie evokes an intellectual response when it requires an emotional one. It is sex without being sexy.

Much hoo-hah has been raised about the 65 digitally censored seconds of footage in this film. During one particularly graphic party scene, additional people were inserted digitally into the picture to block the most offensive material. While conceptually it is annoying that such censorship had to be done, it is done very well. In fact, if the digital trickery hadn’t been publicized, it would be difficult to spot (the resulting occlusion somehow heightens the surreal aspects of the sequence).

Although this has been marketed as Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman’s movie, this really is Cruise’s film alone. Kidman is entirely misused. Her character’s woozy main speeches are delivered drugged and drunk. She’s really merely a motivator for Cruise. He, on the other hand, has a meatier character, but few showcase scenes. He’s charming enough that we willingly accompany him along his travels, but at the end, we know little more about him than we began.

Kubrick evokes a palpable sense of dread at the right moments of the film’s most intense scenes. However, in other places he seems to be losing his touch. Toward the end, he forces an awkward and unnecessary exposition to tidy things up. It significantly dilutes the final impact of the film.

Eyes Wide Shut is not a horrible film for Kubrick to have ended his career upon. The film is thought provoking, and well shot, but it certainly isn’t representative of his much better body of work.

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The Blair Witch Project - * * * 1/2*

Posted on July 14, 1999 by Madeleine Williams

The Blair Witch Project

It’s unexpected. The Blair Witch Project is a horror film with no name stars, little gore, and an even littler budget. And yet, it is the most genuinely scary movie to hit the screens in a long, long time.

The Blair Witch Project is also the title of the film-within-a-film that documentary filmmaker Heather Donahue hopes to make her senior thesis in film school. Heather’s film plans to examine the myth and reality behind the legend of the Blair Witch, who rumoredly has haunted the woods outside Burkittsville, Maryland, for nearly three centuries.

To help her shoot the film, Heather enlists the aid of her friend Joshua Leonard to help shoot the footage. Josh, in turn, invites along Michael Williams, an aspiring sound man. The trio start by interviewing the townsfolk of Burkittsville, but soon set off into the wilds…and are never heard from again.

That is, until their documentary footage was “recovered” and assembled into the film that is The Blair Witch Project. The resulting film follows the trio of doomed filmmakers on their journey, showing what they found as well as their mysterious end.

Who or what the Blair Witch is is never quite fully explained. Even Heather’s documentary doesn’t offer much more than vague hints and legends. In fact, come to think of it, Heather wasn’t a very good documentarian. You get the sense that there’s more backstory out there, but it never is revealed to the audience. On the one hand, it makes the world of the Blair Witch Project much more tangible…but it also makes it more frustrating.

The cast does a credible job, more or less playing themselves. Heather is a strong character, and gives the film’s most powerful performance (particularly in the film’s most intense scene towards the end). However, there’s little noticeable difference between Josh and Mike. Both actors manage to make their characters seem like real people…but they are real people we never know anything about.

The central question of any horror film is: Is the movie scary? With The Blair Witch Project, the answer is undoubtedly, yes. It’s certainly a welcome departure from the modern horror film, which have all too often replaced terror with mere gore (not realizing that disgust makes a pitiful substitute for fear). The Blair Witch Project is atmospheric, creepy and unsettling. It may start off slow (particularly for modern audiences), but the movie becomes more unsettling the longer it goes on.

The mock-documentary approach that writer-directors Eduardo Sanchez and Daniel Myrick have taken toward filming The Blair Witch Project is both a blessing and a curse. It certainly increases the immersion factor of the movie. There are times when the film seems terrifyingly real. The limited nature of the camerawork also serves to enhance the suspense (as objects are glimpsed just outside of camera range).

But, the documentary approach creates a fatal flaw in the story structure. The three film students spend more time filming each other and their trek through the wilderness than they do capturing anything on film about their subject. It stretches believability that not only would the trio continue filming constantly after their exploration takes so many turns for the worse, but that every major character conflict and development just happens to be caught on film. Things come dangerously close to feeling staged…and that would destroy the film. Luckily, in the end…the atmosphere wins out. You are too disturbed to notice the serendipitous details of the filming until well after the fact.

The Blair Witch Project is the creepy type of movie that slowly burrows its way into your skin. It seems flimsy and a bit superficial at first, but by the end you’ll be hearing noises and looking over your shoulder.

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Muppets From Space - * *

Posted on July 14, 1999 by Madeleine Williams

The Muppets have seen better days, and never has the muppet candle seemed so dim as in this sixth muppet movie. The first original muppet story since The Muppets Take Manhattan, Muppets From Space is missing a crucial ingredient necessary for a successful launch: magic. A mundane muppet movie is hardly a muppet movie at all.

The story centers on Gonzo (voiced by Dave Goelz), who sulks, depressed and lonely because he has no family…there are no other Gonzos. He resigns to live his life in abject loneliness. But all that changes when he receives mysterious messages apparently transmitted through various foodstuffs. Gonzo comes to the realization that he is an alien, stranded on Earth, and begins an attempt to contact his fellow extra-terrestrials.

Strangely, the other muppets (who are all living together in a dilapidated old house), think Gonzo has gone completely crazy. Mostly, the muppets have other worries. Miss Piggy tries to land a glamorous new job in TV journalism, and Kermit has his froglegs full trying to keep order in the crazy muppet household.

Leave it to the evil government to take an interest in Gonzo and…well, be evil. An obsessed alien researcher named Singer (Jeffrey Tambor) plots to kidnap Gonzo and discover the secrets of his alien civilization. It is up to a ragtag group of muppets (Kermit, Fozzie, Piggy, Animal, Rizzo and Pepe the Prawn) to rescue Gonzo and save the day.

Muppets From Space is the first Muppet Movie to prominently feature the new muppets from the Muppets Tonight TV show. The aforementioned Pepe the Prawn has the biggest role (alas without his partner Seymour the Elephant), but Clifford and several other new muppets make appearances as well. In fact, the film strives to pack in at least one appearance from every muppet in existence (except for the Sesame Street gang, who have their own muppet movie, Elmo in Grouchland, forthcoming.) The result is chaotic…and not in a good muppetly chaotic way.

But wait, there’s more. In addition to the plethora of muppets, the film also features a variety of guest stars. Ray Liotta, Andie MacDowell, Hulk Hogan, Rob Schneider, David Arquette and F. Murray Abraham all make appearances here and there. Mostly, they’re thankless cameos, serving little purpose other than to try and amuse the adults dragged to the film by their children.

Gonzo has always been an interesting muppet to watch. Unfortunately, for the bulk of this film, he is out of character. Gonzo is usually zany, upbeat and unpredictable. Watching a sullen Gonzo is like drinking a flat soda. The tangy edge is gone.

Children will be entertained by Muppets From Space, so the movie does fulfill its prime directive. However, adults who have previously been enchanted by the muppets will find that the magic is gone. Yes, the muppets are relatively low tech in this era of high tech whiz-bang special effects… but the problem is deeper than that. The best muppet movies imbued the muppets with a sense of wonder and awe. In Muppets From Space, they have become mere stock characters running through a routine plot.

At a time when there are too few kid-friendly movies in the theaters, Muppets From Space provides a welcome retreat. However, if you’re wanting to be entertain more than just children, look elsewhere. Muppets From Space is decidedly earthbound.

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Arlington Road - * * 1/2*

Posted on July 9, 1999 by Madeleine Williams

Arlington Road

Arlington Road is a thriller about a college professor (Jeff Bridges) who begins to suspect that his seemingly normal next-door neighbors (Tim Robbins and Joan Cusack) are terrorists. The professor must apply his book knowledge when he takes matters into his own hands. Hope Davis and Mason Gamble also star, and Mark Pellington directs.

Capsule review: Disturbing tale, if a bit implausible at times. Too much of the plot is coincidence driven, particularly the plot devised by a character who claims to leave nothing to chance. Still, the movie’s tone is appropriately unsettling, and bolstered by good performances all around. (Sony Screen Gems)

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American Pie - * * *

Posted on July 5, 1999 by Madeleine Williams

American Pie

If any of you have been pining the demise of the teen sex comedy, you need long no more. American Pie returns us to the glory days of Porky’s, Losin’ It and The Last American Virgin, when teens wanted sex and…well, that’s about it. Insubstantial and funny, American Pie entertains, but is quickly forgotten.

The plot of American Pie is extremely simple. Four seniors at East Great Falls High School bemoan the fact that they have not yet had sex. The four guys enter a solemn pact to lose their virginity by graduation, giving them one final hope: Prom Night.

Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas) seemingly has the easiest job of the bunch, for at least he has a steady girlfriend, Vicky (Tara Reid). The other three are left to their own devices. Lacrosse jock Oz (Chris Klein) decides to join the jazz choir to win points with “choir girl” Heather (Mena Suvari). And Finch (Eddie Kay Thomas) somehow starts a rumor circulating on campus which has him eagerly sought after by many of the girls.

That leaves Jim (Jason Biggs), a teen cursed with horrendous luck, and even worse timing. Somehow, Jim’s parents have a knack for discovering him when he’s, um, …well let’s just say he’s not the master of his domain.

Yes, if you can’t tell by that, this is an 80’s style teen sex comedy with a heaping dose of 90’s style gross-out humor. Attempting to take the gags from There’s Something About Mary to the next level, American Pie gives us more bodily function humor than we know what to do with. Some of it gathers reflex chuckles, but most simply makes you ponder the loathsome legacy Mary hath wrought.

One truly refreshing thing about American Pie is that we are treated to teen characters who, gasp, are not stereotypes! Well, at least that sweeping statement can apply to the main characters; there are plenty of recognizable archetypes roaming around the fringes. It’s amazing to watch a high school set film, and not be able to pigeonhole the leads within the first two minutes. They actually seem like real people, and that’s a plus for the film.

However, a legacy of the 80s teen comedy that American Pie can’t quite shake is the absolute lack of strong female characters. The closest American Pie comes is with Jessica (Natasha Lyonne), who makes wry comments from the sidelines, but is never given a chance to shine on her own. All of the other girls in the film are just vapid props to entice the plot to its inevitable conclusion.

Things are better for the actors in the cast. Jason Biggs, in particular, is able to create a true flesh-and-blood character He seems, surprisingly, like a real teen, which is a highly unusual creature to find in the movies. Kudos must also go to Eugene Levy as Jim’s father, who understands his son’s situation, but who is always hopelessly (but hilariously) inept at expressing it.

As expected, the film never tries to be a sweeping social commentary. It aims low and goes for the cheap laughs, often hitting its target. Even though it makes you feel queasy at times, American Pie will leave you smiling.

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Shiloh 2: Shiloh Season - * * 1/2*

Posted on July 2, 1999 by Madeleine Williams

Sandy Tung directs this sequel to the family film Shiloh, based on Phyllis Reynolds Naylor’s series of books. Shiloh the beagle returns, now with his new family, Marty Preston (Zachary Browne) and his dad (Michael Moriarty). When Shiloh’s cruel former owner (Scott Wilson) crashes his truck on the Preston farm, Marty and Shiloh decide to befriend him. Rod Steiger and Ann Dowd also star.

Capsule Review: Nice and good natured, Shiloh 2 sometimes feels more like an Afterschool Special than a theatrical movie. But, in a relaxed and down-homey sort of way, the movie is enjoyable, and goes out of its way to teach moral lessons as well.

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Summer of Sam - * *

Posted on July 2, 1999 by Madeleine Williams

Summer of Sam

Spike Lee directs this Bronx drama set during the Son of Sam murders. A mob in the Bronx believes a young man (Adrien Brody) is actually the serial killer. John Leguizamo, Anthony LaPaglia, Mira Sorvino, Jennifer Esposito, John Savage, Bebe Neuwirth, Michael Badalucco, Michael Rispoli, Ben Gazzara and Patti LuPone star.

Capsule review: An intriguing cast, and a vibrant neighborhood portrait. However, the film never feels consistent. The action feels like it is all building towards a distinct goal…then just dissipates. Ultimately disappointing.

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